Angel Food Cake Is A Recipe For Disaster

Too BadHappy Birthday to my husband,  Mr. Bernie. Boy does that feel weird saying, “husband.”  I almost feel like a little kid who learns a new swear word and has to keep testing it out. Husband, husband, husband. There! Got that out of my system.

Since its Mr. Bernie’s birthday, I need to bake a cake and cook dinner. When I first moved to Montana I really was not a cook. I could bake a mean cake or pan of bars, but cooking for myself was not my strong suit. My dinners were not something Mr. Bernie approved of, so he would have me out for dinner every night. He was complaining that I was not eating properly and needed to eat real meals.

 

Let me share my top three dinners with you and see if you think they are wrong.

  • Chicken Ramen, I would get protein from the chicken flavor packet provided.
  • Macaroni and Cheese, this would provide me with my diary allotment.
  • Popcorn, corn is a vegetable as we all know. Duh. I was eating my veggies.

One of the first birthday’s I spent with him, I was going to return the favor and cook for him. His momma always made him pork chops, green beans, biscuits and gravy with an angel food cake for a birthday cake. The only thing I knew that might turn out was the green beans, providing I didn’t cut myself on the can.

The cake was the first thing I tackled. I have not been a fan of angel food cake in years. I must admit I was scared to make this for him. Granted it came from a box, but there were extra things one had to do with that type of cake. Inverting it on a bottle to cool. What is up with that? Putting my cake upside down on a bottle? What about gravity? So while Mr. Bernie was napping I was busy whipping up this cake. I mixed the batter and put it in the oven, pretty proud of myself. Then the Mr. woke up and looked at my cake and said, “I think its done, you can take it out now.” I questioned this as it was not what the cake box said, it still had some time. He insisted, so I took it out of the oven, flipped it over a bottle and it fell out of the pan. I burst into tears and started yelling at him that his cake was ruined, what was I going to do now?  I’m not talking the little tears from the corner of the eyes, I’m talking the sobbing, snot bubble sobs. It took Mr. Bernie a minute to figure out what to do with me and how to make it better. It was his birthday and this woman was in his house sobbing and yelling at him for ruining his own birthday cake.  He looked at me calmly and smiled when it told me that it would be ok. He said that we could just flop it on a plate and it still would be yummy.

Cooking the rest of the meal turned out ok. Poor Mr. Bernie couldn’t just go sit in his chair and relax while his dinner was made. He had to stand over the stove and give me cooking lessons. I could tell he was just itching to shove me out-of-the-way and do it himself as we would stand a chance at eating before midnight. He insisted on making the biscuits, which I was quite fine with.

The final results were:

  • A mess of a cake
  • Pork that was burned in some spots, raw in the others
  • Gravy that was lumpy
  • Green beans that weren’t half bad
  • Wonderful biscuits, they just melted in your mouth.

Here we are six years later and its time to cook for him again. I have picked up some skills in all those years. I’m even going to branch out and try to make his cake from scratch. To be honest the whole thing scares the heck out of me, but I do have a bit more confidence than all those years ago. I did suggest a chocolate banana cake this year, but alas, he stuck with angel food.

Wish me luck!

~Bernie

Comments

  1. I am sure dinner was great. MR. would love it no matter.

  2. Well look at it this way, if it doesn’t turn out then you can order something delivered and you will have added more information to your cooking repertuar. I am betting you will do just fine though. :)

  3. Good luck with your birthday dinner! If it was my HUSBAND’s birthday I would take him out to dinner…and no cake.

    • That is because your HUSBAND is a freak and wouldn’t eat sweets. There is something just sick and wrong about that. Believe me I tried to get him to go to dinner, but he wanted to stay home. I would rather have someone else cook for us. *lol*

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  1. [...] Bernie’s favorite cake is Angel food cake. After several attempts at making this horrid cake, I vowed last year, never again! I even mentioned Angel food cake to my friend, Teresa, who makes [...]

  2. [...] boy crying, crying woman, cartoon woman crying”  must stem from Angel Food Cake Is A Recipe For Disaster. If you look at that image, it doesn’t look like a little boy. It doesn’t look like a [...]

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