Where’s My Bra?

Image via: http://yellowrosesgarden.com


I was getting ready to go to work yesterday and couldn’t find my bra. I don’t know how I could have lost it for a short time. Its not as if its a training bra. More like two mixing bowls attached to a double hammock. Its not something that could be easily overlooked. Keep in mind at my age I’m NOT bragging about bra size. I’m too old for that game.

I started wearing a bra in fourth grade. Slap a pair of glasses on top of that and I was really a confident girl. My other girlfriends didn’t need bras until Jr. high. My best friend, Jenny could get her bras in the bargain bin at Kmart. I had to go find those old ja-ja Cross Your Heart bras. None of the cute lady bugs, squiggles or stuff like that. Jenny used to like to stuff her whole sock drawer in my bra and laugh like a mental patient. Good times.  Now that she is older, she has grown her own big girl chest and big bras are not so funny anymore. I gotta tell you it gives me great glee. Because I’m nice like that.

Back to my lost bra. I usually put my bra in a couple different spots. Either on the handle of our bathroom door or on a chair. After my shower I checked both spots and nothing. Its not as as if it was thrown off in a moment of passion. However, I did check the foot of the bed and under the bed in case there was passion and I missed it. Alas, it was not there. I stood in the bedroom and turned around three times mumbling to myself. “Where in the hell is it? What could I have done with it? Am I losing my mind?”

Having to call your husband in the bedroom to help you find your bra is very humbling. I yelled out into the kitchen, “Mr. Bernie, can you come help me find my bra?” He yelled back from the kitchen, “What?” (We are white trash like that and just yell back and forth) I shrieked, “Mr. Bernie. I can’t find my bra. Can you please come help me?!” He slowly ambled into the bedroom chuckling. The chuckling was not appreciated. He started to look on the bed, I told him I already looked there. He then tore the dogs bed apart, thinking she might have take it. Then he looked on the floor, in the bathroom, on my chair and so on. “What did you do with it Bernadette?” I replied, “If I knew that, would I have  you in here helping?” Finally, he shut the closet door and found it on that doorknob. I don’t remember putting it there. I don’t think I have ever put it there before. Odd. He handed it to me and asked if I needed help finding my underwear or socks. I assured him I was good and thanked him for his services.

I ended up calling him The Bra Whisper for the rest of the day.



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  3. great story, very funny.
    i was on the phone to my boyfriend, whilst in my dressing gown, i decided i should put on bra but i couldn’t find my cosy one. i was very upset and had to just put on my regular bra.

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  7. I once had a “bra of unknown ownership” show up in my laundry. And I do my laundry in my own basement. In my own home. That I am the only one here that wears a bra (unless my hubs is hiding something from me…but it would have been too small for him, too). It was a week or so after Thanksgiving and I was putting away my basket of clean clothes (what the heck is the purpose of that since I am just going to take them out again and get them dirty but I am not a Neanderthal) when I grabbed a small white bra. Like you, Miss Bernie, I have not passed the “pencil” test in decades so I knew there was no way, no matter how much it had shrunk, was this MY bra. I called the Mr. in the room and held out Exhibit A and asked him if he needed to tell me anything. Being of Nordic descent, he is strong but not too bright so he just looked at me confused. So I spelled it out for him. “Who in the H. E. Double hockey sticks” bra is this? He just looks at me like I had just asked him to find something not in front of his face. Finally it dawns on him what I am alleging (do you notice I am using legal jargon here for your benefit….and we just me…how awesome will I be when you know me better, eh?) and he gets this look on his face and it is one of embarrassed pride….not because he was flaunting an affair in my face but because I had imagined someone else could find him desireable! I knew then that he had no clue either so we deduced it must have been a guest who had come to dinner on Thanksgiving in “dress clothes” and had brought more comfy clothes to change into afterward and had used our bedroom to change in and had gotten more comfy that I had imagined and had left her tiny booby holder somewhere and I had just picked it up thinking it was a sock (I once saw a bra at my sis-in-law’s and thought it was for holding Tupperware bowls) and threw it in the laundry. I never asked her about it as I wasn’t quite sure exactly how to bring it up!

  8. What should I do I was in my room yesterday and I know we’re my bra was and to day I can’t find we’re it is now what should I do?

  9. Good post, keep

  10. Lady Googoogaga says:

    Truly a LOL!! I love the description of the mixing bowls andhammocks!! Soo funny!!

  11. Time Travel Tuesday is up and running for a new week – come over and link up for new fans, improved ratings and some great reading!
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  12. Too funny! The dog bed was a good call. My dog has been known to abscond with certain pieces of my underthings. I don’t usually get them back though.

  13. Gals gotta laugh, and thank you for that, Bernie! As a brand new fan, I can tell your blog is full of chick titters :)

  14. HA! Except I probably shouldn't laugh, because the same thing happens to me. And it ALWAYS sucks to have to ask a man for help finding something. If Mr. Bernie's anything like my husband, you won't live that one down for awhile.

  15. I can see why you have so many comments to this post, it's brilliant.

    I call our modern day bras the 21st century corset. Hate them, hate them, hate them. I'll likely just write my own post about this subject since I'm so obviously passionate about it.

    Just wanted to say I can relate to this tale on many levels and thoroughly enjoyed it.

    I will admit, like another commenter said, I half expected you to tell us that Mr. B said, "Is this it?" While you turned around to see him wearing it…hehe.

    C'mon, he started it with the whole bustier purse episode. :P

  16. Jenny used to like to stuff her whole sock drawer in my bra and laugh like a mental patient. Good times. Now that she is older, she has grown her own big girl chest and big bras are not so funny anymore. I gotta tell you it gives me great glee.

    That Jenny, what a hoot! She certainly appreciates you as a great pal, especially now that she can share the joys with you of what goes around, comes around.

    As for searching the dog bed, do not laugh, for it has been a hiding place for many a dog in history. Indeed.

    • I was shocked when she got her big girl chest. I must admit that I laughed like a mental patient at her. Tit for tat.

  17. now this is one funny post.. hahaha

    My 1st time coming to your blog from Mid Week Mingle Blog Hop

  18. Thanks for this, made me laugh = ) Stopping by from the hop.

  19. I love this (and sympathize- I grew my pair at 9 years old, and actively despise having to pay $100 for ugly boulder holders). However….how is it you only have ONE? That’s….possible??


  20. That must have been humbling…calling your husband in to help you find your bra. Fun read.

    I found you off of “I love my online friends Monday hop” from last week. I was hoping to play this week, but no party was thrown. I just became your newest follower. If you would like to return the favor I’m leaving a link to my blog below. I am looking for new friends to exchange comments with.



    My Blog

    • Very much so. Its bad enough when I have to help him find my glasses on the bathroom counter. *lol*

  21. Haha, the bra whisperer. Sounds like a show they would have on Bravo or one of those other ridiculous channels. Funny story lady :)

  22. ROFL! Girl you make me giggle… Mine’s HUGE too… I’m always getting teased for my large tatas in my group of friends… I am always losing my bra. LOL I could lose anything though, including my actual tits if they weren’t attached.

    • I used to be the one to get teased too. I must admit I have never been out and about and lost my bra. *lol*

  23. OMG! That was hysterical!! Sounds to me like you need a backup bra for situations like this.

  24. Stopping by from SITS…this post was hilarious!

  25. I’ve never been so happy that someone found her bra, Bernie. Reading your post I kept thinking, where could it be? Did she think to check the dirty clothes? Maybe it’s in there.

  26. Are you writing a book? Going on the comedy circuit? Getting your own TV show? Really. You could do all those things. You are one of the funniest writers I know.

  27. LOL!!!!

  28. And I thought you were going to say you had left it on top of your head mistaking it for your lost pair of glasses!!! Thanks for the laughs. I think Mr. B should definitely add Bra Whisperer to the resume–just image the response he would get to that. Or better yet—put that as his occupation when tax time comes around. Now that would give some IRS person a laugh!!! Or an audit….maybe better not do that!!! Have a great day! :-)

    • Beth, are you peeking in my windows? Yes, that would really pump up a resume’ “Master’s Degree in Industrial Mgmt. Engineering and Bra Whisper” *lol*

  29. Your blog is hilarious! LOL!! Thanks so much for finding Hop A Little Tuesday!! I am so glad you did! I am returning the love and Stalked….uh I mean followed you in everyway I could! :)

  30. Jeez, I thought you were going to say “And there he was, WEARING IT”. Men can do weird things for a joke.

    • OMG! That is too funny. He said, “I might be a little freaky, but not that freaky. Besides, I don’t have as many socks as Jenny had.”

  31. lololololololololololololololololololololololol I could go on but you get the picture. :) You two are so funny!! At least it wasn’t in the freezer.

  32. You are really funny. I'm stopping by from SITS. I lose my bra ALL the time. I just have search time scheduled in.

  33. This so sounds like something that would happen in my house!

  34. I'm still waiting to grow my big girl boobies and to be able to buy a bra, or as my kids call it, 'booby traps', somewhere other than the little girl section of a department store. Its sad, really. My poor pitiful non-boobs. We always want what we can't have.

    Now, go installing a homing beacon on the bra!

  35. So very cute! I have had many of those days myself. I blame it on the kids. I think braincells came out with the placenta!

    I found you from The Blog Entourage. Will be back again.

    Hope you can stop by my blog sometime… but please PUT YOUR BRA on first! LOL (Of course this is coming from the woman who wore high heels to clean her toilet the other day. Kind of a long story… better just read my blog to understand.)

    • Thanks for stopping by. I could have blamed it on the cats, good idea for next time.
      Glad you stopped by. I think I will have to see what causes one to clean the toilet in high heels. *lol*

  36. Ohoh – senior moment ? Just kidding. I love it when your looking for something and the person helping you look says something brillant like, "What did you do with it?" That's too funny!! Bernie you've brightened my day – once again!

  37. So funny. I know what you mean about wearing abra before you should even know what they are. Love Ya

  38. ha; well I'm glad you found it! thanks for the laugh! stopping by from bloghop

  39. Can you hear my laughter all the way from Minnesota?

    Have you considered moonlighting as a stand-up comedian? I'm not joking. You and Mister Bernie would make a great show.

  40. Too funny!

  41. Ohmygod…dying! We are so the same, Bernie. You have no idea!!! XD

  42. Thank you for making my morning! I am crying in my coffee cup. I didn't have any cream so I'm hoping this might help the flavor!

    I love the, "in case there was passion and I missed it" awesome!

    I think we all need a Bra Whisperer, do you rent him out?


    • I’m glad this gave you a chuckle. Hopefully, the tears will help with the coffee. I’m a creamer girl myself and can’t stand black coffee.
      I might be able to rent him out for a price. *lol*


  1. [...] a click as it will produce a good chuckle is: One Mixed Bag The post I am referring to is called: Where’s My Bra? Yup it is about how she lost her bra… you gotta read it for more [...]

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