Spam is Driving Me Crazy!

 

I like this Spam. Not email spam.

Somehow, a site I belonged to got hacked into. Once it got hacked into, that hacker decided to share everyone’s email and password. Nice, huh? Very generous of them. Salt of the earth. I had a couple of folks email me about this, along with the site it happened to. I ran through the internet changing all my passwords on everything. That was a good time. Gave me something to do. Kept me off the streets.

 

Now I’m being plagued with Spam. Not the normal quantity of a couple a day. Nope, I get at least a couple an hour! I have my spam filter set to just delete these little love letters. Some get marked as spam and there they sit. Others get deleted. Still others don’t even get detected. I’m not interested in getting a new email account. It’s not like it’s a Hotmail or Yahoo account. Its my real account and I want to keep it.

I have never felt so loved. Greetings such as, “Dear Beloved, Dear Loved, My Dear, Darling” It’s almost like romance via spam. Everyone wants to give me money. From soldiers to old ladies. How did I ever get so lucky? It seems as if there are ooddles of dollars set aside just for me. How lucky could I get? Some are very urgent you know. I’m that important. “Its urgent I speak to you!” Really? Wow! Let me get right on that. If you call me a term of endearment and tell me its urgent, I’m ready! Bring it on. How can I help you to help me??!

Its hard to resit the urge to send a “F*** You, Scammer!” email back. Then I get to thinking that they hacked into someone’s email. That person would be a bit startled to get an email like that from me. You see, they send from a hacked email account and have a separate “respond to” address. I know that if I told them to go play in traffic or leave me alone, it wouldn’t happen. Though a girl can dream.

I’m debating trying to retrain my spam filter. I thought I had it trained, but now its being overworked. Almost as if it just gave up. Too much work for it to do. I don’t blame it. Heck, I check my email and want to scream sometimes. I know I should be appreciative that so many folks love me and want to give me money. I should be kinder and more receptive to these kind gestures.

I have a gesture or two I want to give the damn spammers!

~Bernie

Comments

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  4. And I thought, based on the image, that you were going to share a recipe for SPAM.

  5. What I want to know is why the hell there are people who bother with spam? I mean, seriously, someone has the time to try to hack into accounts and send out millions of scam/spam messages? I want to know who these people are and why they don't leave us alone, dammit!

  6. The spam picture is hysterical! Gross, but hysterical! I'm so sorry you got hacked into and I didn't realize that if you did you'd get plagued with spam. We can only pray for Karma on that one. It's so annoying that this happened to you! Nightmare!!! Hang in there!

    • I wasn\’t hacked into. A site I belonged to was hacked into and all of the member\’s emails and passwords were out in cyberspace. So the spammers ended up getting even more emails of people who don\’t want their crap.

  7. Cathy W says:

    I've long pondered why spammers hack random sites and then send emails. (I mean, does it ever really work?? Do people actually send them money?)

    Now I know. It is to keep Bernie off the streets. Mystery solved! :-D

  8. How could no one mention the best part of your post!? THE SPAM PIC! Mmm I'm hungry now. LOL

  9. Ugh….Spam! I went to you for help with that on my WordPress site, now you get slammed with this crapola.

    This is hitting everyone, in one form or another, Bernie, be it spam or more serious web attacks. Facebook users are getting that dreaded Koobface virus because people keep clicking on some asinine video link and then everyone on their friend's list gets it.

    Even our business credit card had to be restricted two weeks ago when someone abroad attempted to process a charge; Visa International caught it. Apparently, one of the companies we deal with had their computer system compromised and any financial data was invaded by the hackers.

    Be that as it may, I'll sleep easier tonight knowing you were off the streets, if even for a little while.

    Hugs!

    • Oh, no about your business credit card. Yikes, what a nightmare!!
      I just don\’t get why folks think people want this crap. If I could put Askimet on my email I would so it. It really contains the spam.

  10. Wait, so those emails that call me 'lovely' and 'dear' are fake. Danggit! haha. But really, annoying as heck. Hey, at least you found something to keep you off the streets. You delinquent :)

    • I know, you thought they loved you. Alas, they would love your money.
      Its good to know for a short while I was contained and not roaming.

  11. Oh, I know what you mean! Craigslist is the worst for me when I list something. I've since changed to posting cell number instead of my email. I get alot of Facebook spam….Sara sent you a message. First of all that one email isn't registered in Facebook, and two, I don't know any named Sara (other than Tiny Temper).
    Then the ones where you've won a iPad or something.
    Yeah, right.
    I wish I could find these people and kick them in the nuts!

  12. LOL – I am a millionairess in countries such as Taiwan, England, and China. The entire continent of Africa is holding huge crates of dough for me. Heck, I recently was told that a long, lost relative in Paprguay kicked the bucket a couple of years ago and one, single, poor soul has been spending his days and nights searching for ME. All I need to do is transfer a few thousand dollars from my accounts to them and they'll have enough to do all of the paperwork and get the treasure chest of cast sent directly to me! It pains me to think that I don't have $1 in any accounts, let alone a few thousand, to become a rich sheik-ess. Oh, well. Maybe the poor guy/gal/old lady will someday visit me in MI and bring my money with them!

    I have found that, once I mark it as spam, it stays that way. Problem is, if they change just one letter or number in the email address it was sent from, it starts all over. UGH.

    Hey, have you met "Paul"? Apparently, he's "one of those internet guys". I get emails from him every day. Unfortunately, for Paul, I have yet to read one of his compositions. I'm sure he's a sincere man just looking to help me make thousands from the WWW just for reading emails (and sending him a little bit of money!) :D

    • You are so lucky. I think the same folks are holding my treasure trove as well.
      I have not met Paul yet. I\’m sure that he should show up soon. Something to look forward to.

  13. Oh isn't spam lovely, in a single day I can get a new hip, test out Viagra on my husband, get money via the GI bill even though I am not a vet, help some poor sole in *fill in country here* to get his money out before his government gets it, collect unemployment, get hired for ANY job, watch an URGENT video, grow back my hair, clear up my skin, get lasik surgery and chat with singles over 50, and that's just my morning! Maybe I should eat a bigger breakfast, after all I think I just got an email on how to slim down for summer without dieting. ;)

    • Wow, what a busy morning of spam you have. Imagine if you crammed all those offers in one day. I can see where you would personally want to use Viagra. I\’m sure it works great for women. Let me know about how the slimming down for summer without dieting goes for you.

  14. bachiles says:

    I am so totally with you!!! My account got hacked when we were in Switzerland, of all places, and I had to change passwords and all that with iffy internet access!!! I was not blessed with tons of spam, though, so my suggestion for you is to just cook it all up and have a big ole party —share the wealth with your neighbors, customers and friends. Oh wait….you weren't talking about THAT kind of spam, were you???? What cracks me up is when I delete my spam box on gmail and at the top all kinds of recipes for Spam are suggested…..hope your spam finds its way outta there soon!

    • Oh, no!! What a time to get hacked. I thought they were neutral and didn\’t do stuff like that. *lol*
      To be honest the picture makes me want to have a plate of spam and eggs.

  15. UGH! That sucks dude. I mean, I'm thankful it kept you off the streets and all, but still. Where is MY money???? That's what I really want to know!

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