Blogger Butt

Hi One Mixed Bag readers!

I’m Nina, as in Artsynina.  I blog about all sorts of crap (like Bernie), but most importantly, just like you, I LOVE reading Bernie. When she asked me to guest post for her as she makes her way to her home state of Minnesota (also MY home state), I jumped at the chance. I shouted with glee and pumped my fist in the air; woo hoo!

And then I thought… What the heck am I going to write about?

After a day of mulling over different ideas, I arrived with one common thought: HUMOR.  Bernie writes humor.  One Mixed Bag readers come for humor.  I need to deliver humor.  *gulp*

So I would like to talk to you about Blogger Butt. I cannot say that I coined that term, no-sir-ee, but I have certainly been defining the phrase. All of those hours spent crafting some witty post, editing pictures, and then linking it anywhere and everywhere have been taking a toll on my ass.The grooves on the couch cushion are from networking on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.  When the button popped off my shorts I blamed my Etsy shop. When I noticed an extra roll or two around my middle, I thought that surely it must be from skimming through a vast sea of daily blogs. As I StumbleUpon random articles, my husband is stumbling over the extra girth of my backside.  It’s true!

I had no idea that being a blogger came with side effects. It’s not as if I work in a pastry shop sampling truffles all day. Sheesh.  But I need to face the obvious truth; Blogger Butt has bit me in the ass.

Along with Blogger Butt, I think I have contracted Leaving Lame Comments and Google Reader Hyperactivity.  Maybe I even have a slight case of Housework Evasion, which inflames Blogger Butt and Google Reader Hyperactivity.  The only thing that causes Lame Comments is a lame commenter.

Damnit.  I need Doctor!

I’ve been thinking about how to battle the Blogger Butt Bulge.  I’ve read that other sufferers have started blogging while standing up.  I like that idea; not only does it get me off my arse, but toddler hands would be unable to reach my laptop and change the view to portrait (oh yes, one time I had to hold my laptop sideways to read it because my kid hit some random sequence of keys).  Of course there is exercise and eating right.  But who has time for that?! I need to write that next blog!

So… have YOU come down with a case of Blogger Butt?


PS – I googled big butt, blogger butt and couch butt grooves without finding a suitable picture.  Then I realized I could use MY OWN BUTT! I like to keep it real like that.  Notice how my butt is eclipsing my child’s head.  It’s That Big.

~Bernie

Comments

  1. Créditos Rápidode 1000, 1500, 3000 hasta 6000 euros a devolver enn cuotas mensuales ¡Aprobación all Momento!, para
    los casos en que necesitas dinero rápido para algún proyecto personal unas vacaciones bien merecidas.

  2. Hell Yeah I have blogger but! We should have a blogger but competition.

  3. I DO have blogger butt, I do I do I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes, I just wrote my last post standing up at the kitchen counter for THOSE EXACT REASONS. Oh my gosh, that photo. Hilarious!

  4. nana pat says:

    Help Nina, I have the butt but not the blog!!!!!! I laughed myself silly and do thank you so much.

  5. Okay pee my pants! Nothing like reality!!!!! Love the blog!

  6. OK, is there a support group for this? I am soooo affected by this horrible disease! Maybe I could blog from my exercise bike? lol. I can see the commercial now…."Thousands of women across the globe are affected with the disease of bulging backside blogger butt, if you act now your contribution could help a desperate woman get elastic pants and help her continue her search for the perfect blog post." Heck, I would send 99 cents a day for that cause!

  7. Oh. My. Goodness. That was wonderful.

  8. Haha, I never thought of it this way, but so true! Too funny, great guest post :)

  9. This was hysterical and totally explains a few things to me since we moved to this new house. I thought it was the stress of the move but no. I am now pretty sure I diagnosed that wrong and you hit the nail on the head. I guess I need to *horrors* step away from the computer once in awhile. OH the anguish and agony… this was a GREAT post!

  10. The worst is when I do preventative measures to prevent Blogger Butt like go to the gym. And then while at the gym, I start thinking of all of the wonderful things I could be writing in my blog. I then may or may not end my workout early in order to go blog.

  11. LOL! Gives new meaning to "Baby Got Back"!

  12. bachiles says:

    I can identify!!! Totally. Blogger butts unite!!!! This post made me laugh so you delivered admirably in our beloved Bernie's absence! Gonna hop over to check out your blog now!!! Blog on!

  13. HAHAHAHAHA…. Gosh, I thought I was the only one with a blogger butt (and a blogger love handles, and a blogger bulge)… When you find the solution, please let me know. Don't really like the idea of standing up while blogging… too much exercise, know what I mean? LOL

    And cheers to that last picture right there! Now we all know you've got one heck of a nice ass, Artsy Nina!

Trackbacks

  1. [...] opportunity to  tattle on me. Nina from The Adventures of ArtsyNina told the tale of ye’ old Blogger’s Butt Sweat from Do Sweat the Small Stuff did an amazing post highlighting my old posts and made it funny [...]

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