To Infinity and Beyond

Mr. Bernie and I work together. Yesterday, I was feeling a bit squirrely. I said to him, “Have I told you lately that I love you?” His reply was, “No, you haven’t. How much do you love me?” I thought of the largest amount I could think of and said, “I love you to infinity and beyond.” After all its good to quote a cartoon character and learn science from them. Without missing a beat he replied, “That’s impossible.” Which caused me to get all pissy and annoyed. I was not a good student in science. I snapped, “Why, not?” We are both mature like this and like to bait each other He replied, “You can’t even get to infinity. So you can’t get beyond infinity. Heck, you can’t even get half way to infinity. Even a 100th way to infinity is so close to infinity that you can’t get there. Thanks for trying though.”

What the hell did he just say and what does it mean? Also, Buzz Lightyear is a lying bastard. That’s what this tells me. If you have been following me for a while, you realize Mr. Bernie is very book smart. This reminded me of our “pillow talk” about cubes. That was fun and special. Not! He enjoys science shows. They bore me to tears. We do make our differences work. For example: He likes to watch about worm holes and quantum physics. I like Sister Wives, Judge Judy and Hoarders. We only use the one t.v. so we take turns. One night we might watch something that will make my eyeballs bleed and the next night it might be Toddlers and Tiaras. Does that make us an eclectic couple or just plain weird?

To get back to my story. After I was schooled on infinity we let the matter drop. Once we got home Mr. Bernie said, “Oh, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…….one Mississippi, two Mississippi.” He got up to 198 Mississippi before I told him that I got the idea. I’m a little slow. It did have me laughing as he kept droning on and on.

Lets re-cap shall we? Buzz Lightyear is a lying bastard. You cannot love someone to infinity and beyond. However, you can count up to 1,000 Mississippi but it takes a while. About 17 1/2 minutes if you were wondering.

Btw: That image above the symbol for infinity. No, I didn’t know that on my own, Mr. Bernie told me. Not very grand is it? Looks like a little kids car race track.



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  1. Cousin Anna says:

    This is an awesome post all around.

  2. That's good. I would get exhausted loving someone to infinity and beyond anyway. I'm more likely to love someone to the end of the block and back. :)

  3. katieross83 says:

    HAHAHA! Oh, Bernie, I'm so glad you're back. This reminded me so much of me and Jeremy…especially your's and Mr. Bernie's TV watching habits. Poor Jeremy is subjected to all kinds of Teen Mom, Hoarding, and Cupcake War madness…while, I have to try not to stab my eyes out while watching How It's Made and Mythbusters. Makes for a fabulous and fun marriage!

    • Oh, I have been known to watch Cupcake Wars as well. The Mr. likes the same shows as Jeremy. Sounds like we could just switch houses and it would be almost the same.

  4. shehascuteshoes says:

    Lol ! Well this was something that I obviously needed to learn. I would have thought that what you said was perfectly legitimate.

    *sigh* Perhaps not. ;)

    Vikki *raises her coffee to you in admiration of your fabulous blog*

  5. oh my goodness.

    you two are just too cute.


    brians {and bryn} in bethel

  6. I propose that Mr. Bernie is incorrect. As love is not a linear (or even quantifiable) event, the argument is invalid. Infinity is a construct as well, and unmeasurable (it's a nice catch-all, though, like the theory of dark matter). So in fact, his asking you to measure and unmeasurable substance such as love was a fallacy.
    And I fully support you informing him of this the next time he approaches emotions like a scientist. :P

  7. I thuink I'm an hybrid between you and Mr. B cause I like both science shows and the TLC specials, Sister Wives, Say yes to the dress etc. Last night I was watching one about the Black death, the plague in Europe…ANd yes, Mr. B is right about infinity and beyond..You two crack me up :)

  8. Slidecutter says:

    I've missed you, Bernie….thought you disappeared into…infinity, lol

    Back in the days of an old tv show called "Ben Casey"….I loved the intro…"Man, Woman, Birth, Death…Infinity"

    Love knows no bounds….tell Mr. Bernie that!

  9. Mr. B. may be really great with quantum physics but he is REAAAAALLLLY bad at geography! There is only one Mississippi so he can't love you 198 Mississippi's, its as impossible as infinity and beyond. ;-)

  10. You two crack me up. An entertaining post, indeed.

  11. Bernie, this will always be one of my favorite posts. It made me laugh out loud enough to spell out laughing out loud and I will chuckle all day long and two tv's is like an electric blanket…the death of marriage.

  12. Kelli @ NO. 7 says:

    Oh, Bernie. I love you!!! Buzz is a total d-bag. Mr. Bernie and Mr. Kelli would get along swimmingly with their wormholes and aliens and bla bla smarty pants boring shows… come on over and you and I will sit down with a big bowl of popcorn and watch The Real Housewives. Way more fun and no chance that we'll be made to feel stupid.

  13. Oh…the shows the boy would watch if he could. My eyes are bleeding just THINKING about them!

  14. Bernie, you and I could hang out and watch trashy tv all day! Have you seen Dance Moms yet? LOL

    • That would be fun! No I have not. Its funny, I had not heard of it before my vacation. My friend Tammi was a dance mom and she was talking about it.

  15. what is it with men and science anyway??? marc is constantly trying to give me a physics lesson… I can't believe buzz lightyear lied to us… UGH!

    • *lol* @ Marc. I\’m always getting math lessons.
      I know, that damn Buzz Lightyear. I hate to have to ruin the fantasy for those of us who are not math/science geeks.

  16. We love each other the "mostest" but I have said "I love you infinity" several times to which my husband responds–"I love you infinity squared". He is s science nerd, too, like Mr. Bernie but we joyously have 2 tv's!


  1. [...] friend’s just sigh. Here are a couple posts to get you up to speed on how awful my math is. To Infinity and Beyond and Too [...]

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