A Case of the Mysterious Orange Coat

Before we went to Chicago I was fretting about what jacket to bring. I really didn’t have a nice fall coat to run around in.  Jenny went shopping before we left and noticed some nice fall coats on sale at Yonkers.  She mentioned them to me and also to Michele.  I thought they sounded nice. Michele did as well and went to go look at them.  When Michele found them, she called me and asked me what color I wanted. She would pick one up and I could pay her when we got to Chicago. Cool! I asked for an orange one. It will help me to stick out of a crowd, they wouldn’t lose me that way.  When Michele went to pay, the coats had lowed in price from the day before. The coat came to ten dollars. Score!!

When I got to Chicago, I got to see my coat. I feel in love fast and hard! It was a lovely orange color, it fit and it was waterproof. What more could a girl want in a fall coat? Nothing that I could think of. I wore that thing all around Chicago. I bought a scarf to match it. If I could sleep in that coat I would. I liked it that much.

After going to a few stores wearing the coat, I realized I had a problem. Every time I would walk through the doors of stores, my coat would set off the store door alarm. I thought that was weird, but just kept going with it. It started to get creepy when I set the alarm off when I left the store. It was a running joke among the three of us. Would I beep or not? When one is going to Coach and Tiffany, one doesn’t want to beep!!!!

We all tore my jacket apart one night. Feeling for the security tag. Nothing. There was no reason that we could see to make me set off alarms. All three of us went over the coat and nothing. It was annoying but we couldn’t think of anything we could do about it.

Yesterday, I stopped by Wal-Mart to pick up some stuff. I beeped when I walked into the store. I thought it was odd. Perhaps they had a new security system. One that let the Greeter know people were coming in the store. In case they were sleeping or something. As I was leaving the store, the Greeter said, “You beeped when you came in. I’m not going to worry if you beep when you leave.”  I explained to him the story of the beeping coat and being in Chicago. He didn’t care.

I’m half temped to send this coat back home with my mom and have her take it to Yonkers. See if they can figure out why it’s beeping. Another idea is to take it to some store in town and have them check it. I love this coat, just not this extra feature. If only I knew why I was setting off security alarms! Its embarrassing and weird.  I don’t mind the weird part.



  1. Charlie, you are a riot! Bernie, Did you check the tag at the neckline or along the side seam? Sometimes the security feature is a magnetic tag that looks just like a label or care tag. It usually has a dotted line along the edge that is sewed into the garment, so that you know where to cut it to remove it.

  2. WTF. I hate when things you love have weird little things..> Why would it be beeping? Lame!

  3. Oooh, can we see pictures???

    Charlie's comment is priceless!!

    Could you blame it on an old war injury: "Oh, it's just the metal plate in my head from the war". Oh, the looks you'd get!

  4. Charlie's comment cracked me up! Love it!

  5. How weird! Maybe your coat just loves all the extra attention?

  6. Maybe it's a highly complex security system for the coat, so nobody would steal it? THough, Charlie's comment seems to be the most appropriate one….:)

  7. Oh my word, that is hilarious! sometimes they have these sticky security things that are real sneaky. You might have a store slide it all over one of their fancy demagnetizor doo-hickeys and see if that doesn't fix it (years of working in retail force me to say boring things like that ;P).

  8. Ohhhh I would have a comment but really? HOW could I top Charlie's?!?!? LOVE IT!! :)

  9. Every time it happens just yell out, "Damn IUD".

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