3 Cups of Snarkyiness

I have a problem with math and know this. Its not as if I think I’m good at math. I don’t hide my lack of math skills. When Mr. Bernie and I go shopping I need him to figure out the discount. “Mr. Bernie, do math for me.” He sighs and walks me through the math problem. All I want to know is how much something is at 25% off. I don’t want to have math class. Just tell me so I know if I’m buying something or not. I didn’t realize how bad Mr. Bernie thought I was at math. He knows I’m not the brightest crayon in the box about numbers. Yet, on Wednesday night I realized just how slow he thought I was.

I was getting my wild rice ready for sitting in the oven over night. (It really makes every little piece of rice pop) I didn’t need as much rice as I normally do. So I had Mr. Bernie help me figure out how much water I would need for 2/3 cup of rice instead of my usual 1 cup. He gave me a measurement amount, I thanked him and started to wash my rice.

When the kettle started to boil with my hot water, I got my measuring cup ready to go. I couldn’t find my 4 cup measuring cup and didn’t feel like dragging a chair to the cupboard at 11pm. So I grabbed a 2 cup measuring cup. I added 2 cups of water and then 1 cup of water for a total of 3 cups. Mr. Bernie came up behind me and said, “Look at you. You can do algebra in your head!” I looked at him like he had 3 heads and finished up my rice. I thought he was done, but no. “I really thought you were going to measure out 1 cup, 1 cup, 1 cup. But no, you did 2 cups and 1 cup. I’m so proud.” A little snarky if you ask me.

I may not be good at figuring out the percent off of items. I may not be able to figure out how old someone is by the year of their birth, but I can figure out 3 cups.

Yea, me! I can do Algebra in my head and my husband the math God is proud.



  1. Hi you have a very easy to follow site It was very easy to post fantastic

  2. Hee hee hee… dun worry about it, Bernie… sometimes a man needs his ego boost, you know? Let him think he is your Math God. I think he secretly likes it :)

  3. Bahahaha, I had to laugh at this post. I'm sure over the years Hubby and I have had that EXACT conversation half a dozen times. I too suck at math, especially if I have to do it off the top of my head. I can get by if I have a pencil, paper and about half an hour to work out the problem. A calculator is even better. I will admit though, that for me, cooking makes math easier. I don't know what it is. Great post. :D

  4. See, you are actually an intuitive math genius. !! xo Anna

  5. I bet that Mr. Bernie received one of those 'If looks could kill' looks :)

  6. You really got me laughing with that one!!

  7. I say really wow him next time and do it in 1/2 cups!

  8. LOL – I can figure out 7.625% of any amount in my head, then double it. That's from being a wiatress in L.A. forever. Way back before we all had computers to figure out the total of a diner's bill, you had three choices: 1) use a calculator to add a bill, 2) use the handy little tax chart (usually stuck to the wall in the wait station with a rusty thumbtack), or 3) memorize it. I ended up having to choose 3 since I worked in a busy restaurant and there was always a line-up for the calculator and in front of the chart. And, by doubling the tax amount, you get a total somewhat close to the 15% tip that the person should leave. I'd know right away who the cheapos were!

    As for the rest – I need help. Whenever I double or halve a recipe, I cannot have had anything to drink (been there, done that!) and I need a pencil and paper. There have been times when I've given up on the long division with fractions and just made the whole damn recipe rather than try to figure out the new amounts! This is the only time I wish we just baked with metrics – so much easier than those stupid fractions!!

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