My Not So Jolly Holiday Season

 

My blog is supposed to be a humor blog. My goal is to make people laugh. To be honest, I haven’t found much to laugh about lately. It all started a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, I realized I have not been home for a Thanksgiving since I have moved to Montana. I think its 10 or 11 years. That hit me like a speeding train and took my breath away. I think I cried at LEAST once a day before Thanksgiving. Having my own pity party. Sadly, Mr. Bernie had to attend the pity party as well. He was a good guest, saying the right things.  It can’t be pleasant to have your wife burst into tears each morning before work. At Thanksgiving with Mr. Bernie’s family, I was not the most perky gal in the world. Before we left, I explained why to his sister, that I’m having the most awful bout of homesickness ever. I even teared up talking to her a bit.

We have been struggling with what to do with  our 6 month old puppy, Patch. His shaking puppy syndrome is NOT getting any better. Yesterday morning he couldn’t stand to go outside to go potty. He laid on this bed in the living room and played with Katie for a bit.  (Biting her legs and she would get close to mouth play with him.) After a while, she started to clean him up as if he had gone potty. He had wet himself and the bed. That was why Katie was cleaning him. Poor guy was up for a few hours and couldn’t stand to go outside. Mr. Bernie took him outside and he laid in the snow. He eliminated a bit and Mr. Bernie dragged him away from that spot so he wouldn’t roll in it by accident. He eliminated a couple more times, each time Mr. Bernie had to drag him away from that spot. Before we went to work he was his old self running and tormenting the heck out of Katie.

We have talked about a wheelchair for him, but many times he just wants to lay on his side when his floppy spells happen. So we don’t know if that would help him at all. The sad thing is he is a smart puppy. If he was as dumb as a box of rocks, it might be easier to put him down.  He is a smiling boy and very loving. Loves to play with Katie. Loves good snuggles.  We have been talking about, “what to do with Patch”, for a while now. If he’s going to pull out of this, it will be in the next 6 months. He is 45 pounds now, so lifting up him to bring him in from outside is getting harder. He will go play and play with Katie and his back legs will go out. All he can do is lift his front leg up and down.  We don’t like feeling as if we are God and trying to figure out where his quality of life is. We don’t mind carrying him inside or out of PetSmart or the dog park. It’s not that it’s an inconvenience for us. We worry about how happy Patch can be not being able to run around and play the way a puppy should. Then he gets a huge burst of energy and gallops the best way he can about the yard. We can’t take him many places as well know we will be carrying him in a short while. We don’t mind the stares at his funny walk, of walking on his tip toes with his back arched.  (Last weekend someone asked Roy if his dog had to go to the bathroom) This isn’t about us, it’s about Patch.  How do  you decide if your puppy just doesn’t have a good quality of life and if he should be put down?

The final part of my holly jolly holidays is not going home for Christmas either. My Auntie Jack, brother and friends are in Minnesota, my folks are in Florida. Making either trip is not in the cards right now. So that causes me to get weepy a couple of times a week.

The thing I just don’t understand is why my homesickness is hitting me so hard this year. I have gone years without feeling this bad about not seeing my family and friends for the holidays.  I have not been such a mess about it since I first moved here.

Let the rest of the Holiday season come and go quickly.

~Bernie

Comments

  1. Ah, Bernie, we all have our moments and you are entitled. I wish I could make it all better and whisk you back to Minnesota or down to Florida. But I can’t.

    All I can do is give you a virtual hug, dear friend. A big hug.

  2. Charlene Pitsch says:

    Bernie, I am sad for you! I know what it is like to miss family, my youngest brother lives in Washington state and my older brother lives in California so I am stuck in Montana. I also have cousins in Minnesota that I haven’t seen for years. My husbands family lives close but I miss “my” family! My thoughts are with you during this holiday season. Buy a lottery ticket, maybe that will help. Hee hee. I pray for Patch every night along with my critters and hope he will mend. He is very blessed to have you and Mr. Bernie for parents!! Oh I have a angel food cake reciepe (when I find it) for you. It is a brown sugar one and isn’t supposed to get very tall. That’s why I like it!!

    • I have never heard of a brown sugar angel food cake. Thank you for your note. I did buy a lottery ticket and someone else won my millions. *lol*

  3. About all I can say is I hope you don’t feel sad too often over the next month. I’m sure you and Mr. Bernie will figure out what is best for Patch when you need to. Hugs to you.

    p.s. I still have that card you made me. I keep it on my bedside table and love seeing it every night.

  4. Bernie…I am sorry you aren’t nearer to your own peeps….and sorry, too, about sweet Patch. It is rough..and I have no advice…just happy to listen and love reading your blog! xxooxxoo

    • Thank you. I think I was just whining and didn’t really expect advice. I just started writing and then hit publish. It felt good to get it out.

  5. benzeknees says:

    Maybe you are feeling so homesick right now because you have a life problem which may require some action (Patch) & you are missing the support system of your whole family to help you make this decision. Mr. Bernie may be the most supportive & loving husband in the world, he may support you in all your decisions – but he is not your extended family. There is nothing in the world like being surrounded by your whole family when you have a hard decision to make.
    As far as Patch goes – you are really the only ones who can decide. If he is happy, then I would say he should be given all the support you can give him & let him live his life to the best of his ability. If he seems sad & depressed at his lot in life, then maybe not so much. But again, you live with him, you know Patch best. You know yourselves best. You are the only ones who can decide.

    • I was thinking the same thing. Its one thing to be homesick in general, but when you feel lost, its nice to have the folks I grew up with around.

  6. Bernie, I am so sorry to hear about your troubles this holiday season. I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I don’t. All I can do is lend an ear and a shoulder of support. I think it’s great that you are sharing your struggles. Sometimes, just talking about it can help a lot. When we bottle it up inside because we are supposed to be “the funny girl”, it just makes things worse.

    As for Patch, I say just give him more time. If he’s not in pain, then he should be given a chance. While he may not be able to do some of the things that other puppies do, he is living life in his own “Patch” way. Just continue to love him and take care of him!

    • Thank you for your note. Patch is not in pain. The Mr. thinks he might be going through a growth spurt right now. Since puppies are awkward in general, his issues don’t help him.

  7. Oh man—-your post today made me think again about how blessed my life is and what all I take for granted even though I “say” I don’t take anything for granted. Being away from family is the absolute worst thing –especially at the holidays and you have had quite a year out there in Montana. Who knows why it hit you so hard this year–all that matters is that it did. You are allowed to be sad and sentimental and maybe non perky for a change since you are usually the one who perks everyone else up! As for Patch—I am sorry. It is sooooo hard to see your fur baby sick and not be able to fix it. Just 10 months ago we were wondering if Buddy was going to make it and I was an absolute mess—-ask anyone. I cried for 2 days—bawled is more like it. Sometimes I think we “handle” things and then all at once it all catches up with us and we just let it all go. Maybe that is what is happening with you. I don’t have any words of wisdom or magic wand but what I do have is a lot of love for you and Mr. Bernie and am sending hugs and prayers your way. :-)

    • Thank you. Its hard when your pet is ailing or not right. You feel lost and alone because you and your hubby are the ones to make it right or fix it and so on.

  8. the best thing to cure the blues is to be proactive – so maybe you can’t swing a trip this year – but start planning NOW to go home for either turkey day or xmas – if you can’t afford the trip, try to find ways to earn a few extra bucks here and there between now and then and put that money aside and DO NOT TOUCH IT – except to make the trip home. Also if you don’t already maybe invest in a webcam and get one for your mom too. You can make FREE web calls on SKYPE (maybe if you can get it set up before xmas ya’ll can sorta “share” the holiday via webcam (not the same I know, but as I said – the best thing to do is get proactive in some way)

    hugs

  9. I wish I had the words to say that might help but sadly I experience the same homesickness every year. I didn’t realize you’d been in Montana that long. For some reason I thought it was only a couple of years. I’ve been here 8 and before that was traveling for 20 in the military. New Mexico is my true home and always will be and I miss my Mom and Step-Dad who live there everyday. No one in my immedate family besides my hubby and kids live here. Hugs to you! I know how hard it is, I feel for your pain.

    As for Patch, I will keep this in my prayers. That has to be the hardest thing ever to face and deal with…you and Mr. Bernie are the only two that can decide what is best for him. I’m so glad he has two people in his life that love him so very much!

    • I find it hard to believe I have been here that long as well. *lol* I think that was another reason it hit me so hard.

  10. Oh Dear Bern,
    Hugs to you and Mr. Bernie and to Patch, too!

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