I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! Mr. Bernie and I celebrated with a quiet day at home.
We open presents on Christmas Eve. My Mom has good taste and usually ends up buying some great shirts for Mr. Bernie. Note the word usually. The Mr. was opening his gifts and all was as normal. Gold Toe socks, check. Jeans, check. Then he opened a shirt box, looked at it in an odd way and let out a belly laugh like I have not heard in a long time. I couldn’t see the shirt and couldn’t fathom what she would send that would make him laugh so hard. He finally showed it to me and I was shocked and appalled! It was a brown t-shirt with the universal symbol for the men’s room, with a twist. The man has his hands up in the air as if to say, Yippee! It has writing on it and says, “I Pooped Today!” What the hell?? Surely she did not mean to send this to MY husband. My husband who loves his t-shirt that looks like a tuxedo shirt and wears it for special occasions. She did not mean to send that to a man who is as twisted as I am and will wear it. No, no, no!!! Mr. Bernie is planning on wearing it for next Thanksgiving. He told me that way he can say, I’m ready for supper.
I called her to thank her our gifts. She answered the phone and I said, “What in the hell were you thinking, buying Mr. Bernie that shirt?” That wasn’t how I really meant to start the conversation. She giggled and cackled liked like a maniacal scientist who had just divulged her plan to take over the universe. She said, “Oh, do you hate it Bern?” To which I replied, “Yes, what in the hell were you thinking buying him that??” Mom finally stopped laughing enough to explain the method to her madness. “I saw that shirt and laughed pretty hard. I knew Mr. Bernie would wear it and I knew you would hate it! That is what makes it so fun for me!!” Mr. Bernie thanked her and told her of his plans to wear it for Thanksgiving, which made her laugh all over again. I told her I would be sure to have him wear it when we all see each other again. She said, “Well no. I don’t want him to wear it around me. Just around you.” You can bet, he will wear that next time we all get together to go to dinner. We’ll see how hard she laughs then. I’ll also be sure that next time he sees Auntie Jack he will be wearing it. Take that Mom!
When I talked to Mom this morning, I told her that I was going to blog about her little shirt. I reminded her that her sister, my Auntie Jack, will be reading all about her little present. That stopped my mom’s laughing. She said, “Oh, Bern. Just because you are mad at me, you have to get me into trouble with my sister? I don’t think Auntie Jack needs to know about that present. Why get me in trouble with her, just because you are mad?” I’m guessing that my Auntie Jack will be calling her today.
It’s all fun and games until Auntie finds out.