Summoning Mr. Bernie


My new season of jurors started on September 1st. I didn’t realize how much Mr. Bernie pays attention to my job. On the 1st, he left a message on my work phone, “This is Mr. Bernie. I filled out a Questionnaire in May and today is the first day of the jury year. I don’t know my juror number but I haven’t been called for jury duty yet. Can you please call me back and tell me when that might happen?” I just chuckled and ignored it and pretty much forgot about it. About an hour later, I was given a trial to pull. I got it ready and the computer pulled the jurors for me. It has a random number generator or something. Lo and behold! There was a juror on there I recognized. It was Mr. Bernie! What are the odds that he would call me being silly and then I would pull his name from a pool of thousand? I shared with others in the office that I pulled Mr. Bernie and they all had a good laugh. They asked if I was going to go home and tell him. For once in my life I wasn’t Mrs. Instant Gratification Girl and decided to hold off until he received it in the mail, just like all the other jurors. I didn’t breathe a word to him and have been on pins and needles all day today.

When I got home, I noticed that he already brought the mail in. I asked him if we got anything fun today. He replied, “You got a new magazine, I got a water bill, and my banking statement.” He then showed me the two pieces of mail. I said, “That’s it? Nothing else?” He said, “Well I did get this jury notice for Judge B.” The funny thing is there are two trials going the day he is called for. The Judge B is not the one he was called for. He said, “So you sent me a summons for Judge B?” I could honestly reply, “Ummmm no, I did not send you a summons for Judge B.” Why would you think that? He then pulled out the summons he was hiding and told me, “Because when I got this I looked on the website and saw that both Judge A & Judge B have trials that day. I figured that if you were messing with me, then I would get a reaction.” I have to tell you I was so impressed that he did that. I don’t know why. It just impressed me. He shook the summons at me and said, “I figured you were just messing with me because I left that message. I went to look at the website and thought you just made up a fake trial for Judge A to fool me even more with this fake summons.” I was just laughing and reassured him that I was just as surprised as him to pull him. He also said, “I’m really surprised you didn’t tell me. That is why I thought you were messing with me. I figured if you really pulled my name you would have warned me.”

He continued as everyone knows he can, “I thought you just put that on there to mess with me. I called Vern, (his friend who is a Bailiff for our court), and asked him if you were messing with me. He didn’t know so I asked if he thought you could make up a trial on the website. He joked with me and offered to give me the Judge’s phone number so I could call and straighten all this out. My next step was to listen to the phone message and see if you made up that too.” Mr. Bernie can get thorough. All I could do is laugh. It would be funny joke but I would never do that.

Mr. Bernie joked and asked what he could tell the Deputy Jury Duty Clerk to get out of it. He gave me a few examples: “I have a handicapped dog that needs to sit on my lap.”; “I am antisocial, have difficulty sitting still, and frequently sing whatever tune pops into mind without even realizing it?”; “I am good friends with some people associated with the judicial system?”; “I’m going to schedule a doctor’s appointment for that day?”; “C’mon! Give me some help here. What if I cook you supper and clean up?”; and my personal favorite, “Do you like jewelry?”

The craziest part is deciding whether this is just another instance of random chance or is that guy clairvoyant?



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