My Blog Got a Mini Facelift

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I have had the same blog theme for about a year now. I wanted to spruce up the place a bit. Those who can't ask those who can to help.  I had a bunch of things that were out of date. I was afraid I would break my blog if I updated them. My blog was starting to look like a flea market with all the buttons and things on the right side. I wanted to be like the cool kids, so I asked WackiJacqi to please fix me. Jacqui was able to a bunch of stuff for me. Things I had no idea how to do. She turned my background pink.  However, I love that old broad, she is so classy. I thought I would start with blue to keep things simple. Notice at the bottom, I now have a copyright. just like the other kids. There are a few more buttons on my upper right side.  If you have G+, feel free to add me. It's that shiny button with the big g on the top row of buttons.  I love fonts and these fonts are fun and playful for me. There are still a few more tweeks to be done.   A new comment system, adding … [Read more...]

~Bernie

I Hate Writing About Myself!

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After about a year of waiting to be featured SITS, I finally got an email telling me I'm going to be featured in February. When I got the email, I was just so darn giddy. It's a great way to bring traffic to my blog. To get my blog out there. To hold a new audience captive for a short while.  Its a wonderful opportunity. I'm very psyched!! Then I realized that I have to write a mini bio about myself. Something that people will read and make them want to flock here. Something that tells people that  I'm amazing and they must add me to their daily reading list. It has to be short. I'm not good at short. I also can include up to three links. Which three links? Which links will make people decide that my blog is the neatest thing since sliced toast? Which links will make people say, "Man, she is funny. Where has she been all of my life?" Writing about the things that happen around me, Mr. Bernie, observations and so on are easy.  Writing about myself,  pimping myself is not easy. I'm … [Read more...]

~Bernie

How Are People Finding Me? Part 2

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When you have a blog, you can see how people are finding you. Did they click a link from a friend's blog?  Did you leave a comment on another blog and you are found that way?  Many times its via searching for something else that people find blogs. In May of last year, I did a post about how people were finding my blog.  You can read it here. Click on the pictures or links in this post to go to the original posts. One would think that the number one term would be about purses, ads, something funny, anything. Alas, no. The number one search term is spyglass. People looking for  this image! Click it to read a boring post about my new orange coat.   Thanks to a hilarious guest blog post by my friend, Sweaty, Huh! is the second most popular search on my blog. Huh! Who knew?   The term "Cabana Boy" must be very disappointing to some folks!   I'm pretty sure that our Valentine's Dinner at Subway is not what people are searching for when they look for … [Read more...]

~Bernie

When Did I Start Wrinkling There?

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I'm fat and I know this.  A small benefit is I don't show wrinkles the way someone thinner would. My face is chubby and plump. When and if I ever do lose weight, I'm sure I will be a big old bag of wrinkles. Yet, for now my face is wrinkle free. Imagine my surprise when I noticed I was starting to wrinkle between my boobs. Yes, an odd thing to notice, but there you are. I was bending over the sink one day and had my arms on either side of my boobs which squished them together. Kind of the way girls did in school when they realized they were getting boobs. I almost passed out when I noticed I had wrinkles when I was pressed together. What the heck? Wrinkles? I'm fat. I'm supposed to be smooth. I'm not supposed to have wrinkles! I had to shove my boobs together again, just to get sure I was seeing what I was seeing. I was. Arrrggggg!!! When did this happen? How did it happen? Why am I getting older? I'll be 42 in January. I'm too young to start getting wrinkles. Yes, my boobs are … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Happy Blogaversary to Me!

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As of today I have been blogging, bitching and celebrating on One Mixed Bag. A year ago today I opened my own Wordpress account and hit publish. Here is my first post. Its nothing exciting, but I had to start somewhere. It's amazing how quickly a year can go by. When I started this blog I was worried only my family and friends would read it. Image my surprise when STRANGERS started to read it. Not only did they read, but they left comments!! I think that is one of the best part of being a blogger, the interaction with readers. To know that other people are reading what you are writing. Always a plus!! In a year so much has happened, its hard to keep up! I started to make cards and eventually opened my own Etsy shop. I found out that fried foods can cure PMS. We did Valentine's Day at Subway. Then later got a mention in their employee magazine. Mr. Bernie posts for the first time. Everyone got to meet my cabana boy Gunther. Mr. Bernie gives his version of how we … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Welcome to My Messy Blog!

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Sometimes life gets busy and we let things slide.  For example, we might let our house slide and not be as tidy as we should. One might toss their bra on the bathroom doorknob. Their husband might toss his dirty stinky socks on the floor next to his chair in the living room. Dishes might pile up.  It doesn't matter. You are not expecting company and the weekend is coming.  That magical time when your house is clean for a couple days. All of a sudden there is a knock on your door. You glare at the husband for leaving his socks around. Rush and shut the bedroom door. Toss the dishes in the oven. Anything to make your home look company ready. For those of you who have never done this or debated doing this, you are a liar. I'm guessing surprise guests all week on my blog. Yikes! I was the featured blogger for the week on Studio 30+!! How cool is that? Pretty darn cool if you ask me. However, my blog is a mess. I'm not up to my usual witty, funny or even snarky self. I have let myself … [Read more...]

~Bernie