When I’m an Old Woman I Shall Wear Nothing

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~Bernie

Sharing is Caring on Facebook

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  Have you ever shared something that you thought was really amazing and then nobody commented or "Liked" it. Have you wondered why? That was pretty funny! I know that Suzie and Joe will think that is so them! I know they are on Facebook now. Why are they not seeing this amazing thing that I posted? They must hate me or maybe I'm blocked or I'm sure it's for a stupid reason. Well Suzie and Joe probably can't SEE that amazing meme or recipe for getting rid of bunions. The reason and simple and I'm here to help you to figure it out. Facebook offers us different ways of sharing things with our friends: Public: Anyone and their dog can see it. If someone Goggles your name and your posts are public, they can read them. They don't have to be friends with you to see it. Public is a great way to share an event, fundraiser, etc with your EVERYONE! If you ever make something public, remember to change the settings back on your next post. Friends: My friend's can see the post. If I tag a … [Read more...]

~Bernie

I Went to Court and Lived to Tell the Tale

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I had to go observe court today and lived to tell the tale.  After being told what not to wear, I decided to make up my own "going to court outfit." It was classy with a capital K. Let's just say I was pretty proud of myself. I was thinking I was so clever and giddy, I sent the text below to Torture Queen, aka: TQ this morning before work: Last night I told my Mom what I planned on wearing to work to impress TQ. I don't think she believed me. Keep in mind I get to work at 7 am long before the public is even in the building. I was digging out my rattiest pair of denim carpi pants, I had a funny t-shirt my Mom sent me about sarcasm and glitter but couldn't do it as it would have messed up my hair taking it off. I found an old pair of crocs and a funny 'Maxine" t-shirt. It's great when you realize that the t-shirt you want to wear won't work and your husband encourages you by digging around for something just as tacky for you to wear. I love that man. Last night he suggested big hooker … [Read more...]

~Bernie

I’m Going to Court!

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Hello to anyone who still might be following this blog. I see that I haven't updated in about, oh, a year. If you are reading this, thank you. To refresh your memories, I'm the Deputy Jury Duty Clerk for our District Court. That means that I send the love letters/jury summons to our local citizens. I do this all from my office and don't have to deal with many people face to face. When jury questionnaires are sent out, then some people show up to talk or yell at me. For the most part, I do most communication over the phone. I'm responsible for one tiny part of our court system. I know it very well and love doing it. To the best of my knowledge, there have been no complaints about me. The Judges and their Assistants seem to think I'm doing ok. Keep in mind that it may just be a tiny part of the system but it's My tiny part. There are many, many other functions of our office and, for now, I will focus on the Courtroom Clerks job. These are the gals that always look put together and … [Read more...]

~Bernie

It’s Not All Bon-Bons and Smiting

An example of what I thought "The Special Book" looked like.

I used to think that the person who pulled juries for trials was just some bored gal/guy sitting in an office tossing darts at a name board and eating bon-bons. I figured that once she/he had a bunch of names, she/he would send out summons and their job was done. She/he would then sit around with nothing to do until the next trial. Maybe take long lunches, go shopping or golfing or something. They had the power to make quite a few folks dislike them in a short period of time. It usually takes me at least a few days to get someone to dislike me. The Jury Clerk can get between 65-100+ fresh people to hate them in a day when they receive their mail. When I became a Jury Clerk, I thought I would have that power as well. Granted my bosses told me ahead of time that it's a high stress job and quite busy. I thought, "Ya, right. It's such a cool job sitting around all day, they are just trying to discourage me." I was still thinking about bon-bons and shopping during the Jury Clerk … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Did Someone Say Jury Duty?

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Here we are in the middle of the week and I have survived. I have learned some things that I never thought I would ever learn in my lifetime. For example: I never knew I would wear eyeshadow with colors like, Mildew, Oil Slick and Polyester Bride. Who knew? I have not had to actually dress in big girl adult clothes so many days in a row. That when you start with hookelt earrings you can slowly work your way up to the big girl hooker earrings.  My feet wont' fall off if I wear big girl shoes and not my crocs. See this job is teaching me things about myself I never would have given two thoughts about before. This morning I was asking Mr. Bernie if it was too soon to wear my doll's eyes earrings, they are earrings that are made of dolls eyes that open and close. He suggested that I give it a week or two, take things slowly. He just shook his head when I changed my earrings into a bigger pair. I think he is finding the whole thing quite amusing. Enough about my outfit and make up … [Read more...]

~Bernie