It’s All Fun Until Auntie Jack Finds Out

Mr. Bernie wearing his new shirt for Christmas

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! Mr. Bernie and I celebrated with a quiet day at home. We open presents on Christmas Eve. My Mom has good taste and usually ends up buying some great shirts for Mr. Bernie. Note the word usually. The Mr. was opening his gifts and all was as normal. Gold Toe socks, check. Jeans, check. Then he opened a shirt box, looked at it in an odd way and let out a belly laugh like I have not heard in a long time. I couldn't see the shirt and couldn't fathom what she would send that would make him laugh so hard. He finally showed it to me and I was shocked and appalled!  It was a brown t-shirt with the universal symbol for the men's room, with a twist. The man has his hands up in the air as if to say, Yippee!  It has writing on it and says, "I Pooped Today!" What the hell?? Surely she did not mean to send this to MY husband. My husband who loves his t-shirt that looks like a tuxedo shirt and wears it for special occasions. She did not mean to send that to … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Wordless Wednesday

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These masks are fun and creepy. I don't get why these are, "Fun for the Christmas Party". Who goes to a Christmas party wearing a creepy latex mask? The fact that you can smoke in them is a huge plus!   Vintage image source … [Read more...]

~Bernie

How Are People Finding My Blog?

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Its time for another round of, "How did they find my blog?" The fun and exciting game where I share search terms people used to find my blog. Sometimes the post they landed on is obvious, other time not so much. I have no idea why everyone got an email with a link to the word time. I didn't send that. For those of you who are new here or new to blogs I'll explain. When people are searching for something in Google or another search site, it recommends pages that might fit their odd little term.  As a blogger, when someone finds your blog via a search term, we get to see that in our stats. Every once in a while its fun to poke around the searches and see how people found my little blog and then share it with my readers. Sometimes I can figure out which blog post that showed up, other times all I can do is laugh and wonder about people's sanity. If you click the links, it will take you to a blog post that matches the search query. Here we go and in no particular order: "Why do … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Watch Out For the Hands Under the Bed

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  Last night I got to thinking about the way the Mr. and I sleep.  I'm 5'4" and Mr. Bernie is 6'2". As the shorter of the two, I sleep with my head practically into the headboard.  Mr. Bernie likes to sleep with his head about 5" away from the headboard. He likes his feet to hang over the edge of the bed. I asked the Mr. why he sleeps so far down on the bed. His reply, "That way the hands can't grab me and pull me up through the headboard." That is just a dumb thought. Everyone knows that it's the hands at the foot of the bed that pull you under. Who has ever heard of the hands pulling you that way? Not me. When I was little I used to see hands under my bed. I had a very high antique bed with lots of room under it. They were black gloved hands, led by King Friday and Lady Elaine from Mr. Rogers. Getting into my bed was a feat unto itself. I had to run and hop up before the hands  would get me. When I got a bed that was lower to the ground, I felt a little better about … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Wordless Wednesday

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  I wonder if they still make these? I want one of if they do! When would you wear this lovely contraption? Note, it's not just for fat necks, but thin and scrawny ones too. … [Read more...]

~Bernie

My Dirty Little Secret and Mr. Bernie

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A few weeks ago I realized I had a problem. A little addiction that I'm NOT going to work on.  I just want to be clear on that. I'm not a quitter.  No, Siree! I've been really good at hiding my addiction. Picking up an image here; Michele sending me full cds  of images there; buying a few sheets of images on sale. It started out slowly and then snowballed. To me, my card making computer is like a closet. All full of wonderful things, many I may or may not use. Like a good woman, I have kept my closet closed. "Nothing to see here." was my thought. Mr. Bernie didn't need to know about this fetish.  I think he had his suspicions but never cared enough to look into it. Thank God! I was surprised when a little message popped on my screen telling me that I was running out of memory and couldn't download anything. I was hoping to download this cool free vintage background that I found on Flicker. My heart stopped. How could my computer be full? How does that happen? Who fills up a … [Read more...]

~Bernie