When the Wife’s Away….

Patch, the puppy we are keeping

Our first term of puppy fostering is almost coming to a close.  By the end of the month the puppies will find their new furever homes.  There are two that have a little issue called Shaking Puppy Syndrome. It causes them to shake like little old people with Parkinson disease. They will not be as easy to place. The boy, Patch, we are keeping as our own. We didn't plan on keeping one of the puppies, but there you go. His little head bobs like he is listening to music only he can hear. The girl, Pearl,  has it a bit more rough. She not only shakes but at times her legs go out from under her. She will be running, and going and playing and suddenly flop over. She is perfectly healthy other than that quirk.  We are sure that the rest of the litter will go quickly, Pearl not so much. Which is ok, she needs just the right family. If we end up fostering her for a longer time, we don't mind. She really is a sweetheart.  Roy keeps telling people, "Pearl has a lot of heart!" Last night I … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

stick-figure-kids-friends-md

A few friends have been posting about men and women being friends on Facebook. Is it possible for people of the opposite sex to just be friends? What happens when one of you is married or in a relationship? Is it possible? The notion that, once a person is 'in a relationship' all other affiliations need to be truncated, really annoyed me. I don't understand why people are even questioning such things. But I don't understand a lot of things, so this is not new for me. I just know that many of my good friends have been "boy" friends. You have heard me talk about my girlfriends. Why not talk about my friends who are guys?  Mr. Bernie sees nothing wrong in having friends of the opposite sex. He has several female friends. My friend Michele is the one he calls when he wants to talk politics. She will listen and loves to debate him. Me not so much. It's a bond they have that I appreciate and don't see threatening at all.  It makes me smile when he goes on a rant and I tell him to call his … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Mr. Bernie Makes a Sucky Girlfriend

clip

When I get ready in the morning, I put clips in my hair.  The kind the beautician puts in your hair before she cuts it.  My hair Goddess taught me that would help me make fun curls. I'm usually good about remembering to take them out so I can finish my hair and not look like I ran away from the beauty parlor. Note the word, usually. On Saturday morning we got up early and cleaned our kitchen and living room. It was still early and we had worked up an appetite. Neither of us wanted to mess up the kitchen making breakfast, so I offered to run to McDonald's to pick up something to eat. I had already showered, so I was dressed and ready to go. I waddle out to the car, start it and I'm on my way. I looked in my rear view mirror and screamed. I was still wearing my clips in my hair.  Why didn't Mr. Bernie tell me? Why didn't he suggest I take those out before leaving? I quickly rip them out of my head before I get to the drive-thru and try to fluff up my hair. I was really annoyed. I … [Read more...]

~Bernie

The Case of the Missing T-Shirt

yellow-t-shirt-md

Mr. Bernie and I don't have kids.  Which means I don't have someone whining at me about needing something the next day for school. From time to time Mr. Bernie can't find something. "Bernadette where is the mustard? Bernadette where are some clean socks?" I've been known to lose my bra in the house.  Usually, things are not very lost. When Mr. Bernie is looking for something there is never a deadline. On Wednesday that changed. Mr. Bernie said to me, "I need my yellow Master Gardener's shirt for Friday. We all have to wear that so the new kids can see what they get after putting in hours. Do you know where it is?" I had no clue what he was talking about. I knew of him getting a couple of polo shirts, that were too small, but don't remember a t-shirt. I made a cursory look around and forgot about it. Friday morning, my husband turned into a first grader.  He called out to me in a whiny  voice, . "Bernaddeeeettttteeeee, do you know where my yellow t-shirt is? I can't find it. I … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Hot Blondes and Flannel Pajamas

A still from Mr. Bernie's favorite commerical.

Last night was a typical night at our house. We were winding down after a long day. I had changed into my sexiest flannel night-gown and curled up on the couch in my rattiest terry robe. Mr B had peeled his smelly socks off and dropped them conveniently by his chair to make it easy for me to find. How thoughtful is that? We decided to watch some mindless television to numb our mind before bed. There is a commercial on TV for a jalapeno burger.  It features a sexy blonde woman eating a jalapeno burger  that makes her quite warm and squirmy.  This commercial came on last night while we were watching.  Mr. Bernie shared his two cents by saying,  "All women should eat hamburgers like that."  He says these things as just a matter of fact. All I could do was stare at him with toast crumbs around my mouth and loudly chewing my toast.  I replied, "Really?"  He looked at me. I didn't move. He said, "I guess that you won't be doing that for me?" Gosh it was so tempting. I had a fleeting urge … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Happy Valentine’s/Single’s Awareness Day

funny-valentines-cards

It's here, a day for love and romance. I'm not that excited about it either. When I was single and shoving my face with as much chocolate as I could, I used to dream of having a man on Valentine's Day! Oh, what romantic times we would have! Hearts, flowers, violins and so on. When you are single you can write this whole amazing epic screenplay in your head about how romantic it will be. Like the movie Titanic only nobody freezes or drowns. The reality is so very different. The first  year you get a lovely box of chocolate. Chocolate, yum! Sweet nothings are whispered in your ears. You walk on air because you have someone to spend the day with. You built it up for weeks in your head. The fun, romance, love. Blah! After you have been with someone for a while, it's almost just another day. Well except you don't get chocolate everyday. For those of you who are new here,  I'm going to share a couple of our past Valentine's Day dinners. Our first one was at McDonalds, table linens and … [Read more...]

~Bernie