Did Someone Say Jury Duty?

3qrnab

Here we are in the middle of the week and I have survived. I have learned some things that I never thought I would ever learn in my lifetime. For example: I never knew I would wear eyeshadow with colors like, Mildew, Oil Slick and Polyester Bride. Who knew? I have not had to actually dress in big girl adult clothes so many days in a row. That when you start with hookelt earrings you can slowly work your way up to the big girl hooker earrings.  My feet wont' fall off if I wear big girl shoes and not my crocs. See this job is teaching me things about myself I never would have given two thoughts about before. This morning I was asking Mr. Bernie if it was too soon to wear my doll's eyes earrings, they are earrings that are made of dolls eyes that open and close. He suggested that I give it a week or two, take things slowly. He just shook his head when I changed my earrings into a bigger pair. I think he is finding the whole thing quite amusing. Enough about my outfit and make up … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Why Mr. Bernie is Like a Baby

coffee (Small)

I'm not a morning person. I get up about 6am every morning, but I'm not happy about it. I'm quite cranky. Don't talk to me until I have had a cup of coffee. Just ignore me, pretend I'm not up. Leave me alone. I have nothing to say. I don't wake up singing. I think you get the idea. Mr. Bernie is so different. I end up waking him up each morning. He ignores the alarm. I have no idea how the man wakes up when I'm not here to wake him up. He will sleep for about 15 minutes after I wake him up. Usually, he starts to stir so some cat is laying on top of him, "holding him down". When one goes to a baby's crib in the morning, a baby is usually all smiley. That is Mr. Bernie. He will sing to me. Smile. Talk. All that stuff, even before a cup of coffee. How weird is that? That is just so not right. He thanks me for getting him up. He will pat me on his way to get a cup of coffee. He smiles. What in the hell is wrong with him? Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the fact he wakes up Mr. … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Coffee Wars

coffee

Mr. Bernie and I enjoy a good cup of coffee in the morning. However, we both have an aversion to actually setting the coffee pot up. We have a coffee pot that you just have to put your cup up to it and it pours in your cup. The great thing about our pot is that its programmable, and can be set at night to start before we wake up. What a handy feature, what a time saver and how convenient. Unfortunately, we are both too lazy to bother with it the night before. A typical night would be one of us looking at the other and saying, "Someone should set the coffee pot before bed." This is followed by Mr. Bernie giving me a blank stare and, finally saying something like, "Yes, you should." Then he smirks and thinks he is going to toddle of to bed. At that point, I start to sing my made up song, "Its time set the coffee pot up." I'm not a good singer, so  you would think that the Mr. would fly to the coffee pot just to shut me up. You would think.  Instead, he just disappears into the bedroom … [Read more...]

~Bernie