Hot Blondes and Flannel Pajamas

A still from Mr. Bernie's favorite commerical.

Last night was a typical night at our house. We were winding down after a long day. I had changed into my sexiest flannel night-gown and curled up on the couch in my rattiest terry robe. Mr B had peeled his smelly socks off and dropped them conveniently by his chair to make it easy for me to find. How thoughtful is that? We decided to watch some mindless television to numb our mind before bed. There is a commercial on TV for a jalapeno burger.  It features a sexy blonde woman eating a jalapeno burger  that makes her quite warm and squirmy.  This commercial came on last night while we were watching.  Mr. Bernie shared his two cents by saying,  "All women should eat hamburgers like that."  He says these things as just a matter of fact. All I could do was stare at him with toast crumbs around my mouth and loudly chewing my toast.  I replied, "Really?"  He looked at me. I didn't move. He said, "I guess that you won't be doing that for me?" Gosh it was so tempting. I had a fleeting urge … [Read more...]

~Bernie

I Shouldn't Be Allowed In Public Unsupervised

I shouldn't be allowed out in public. For the most part I go to work and home. Once in a while I go to the bank. On rare occasions I might go out to a store. Perhaps if I got out more often, I wouldn't make such a fool of myself when I do go out. Yesterday, I was looking so stylish. It was warm enough to not have to wear my winter coat. I was running around in a jacket I stole from my dad. Its very redneck looking,  A gray sweatshirt hoodie with a flannel shirt over the top. I was looking pretty manly. I didn't have any make up on and my hair pulled back. It was a very handsome look. Not the look I was going for, but it worked for the day. Keep this in mind while you ready about the rest of the day. After work I stopped by the local smoke shop. I was out of cigarettes. A cute younger guy came in with me at the same time. The clerk hears the bell announcing she has customers and comes out looking grumpy. Perhaps she was eating, working on a Master's thesis or solving all the worlds … [Read more...]

~Bernie