It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year

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It's been forever since I have dusted off ye ole blog. It took me a couple tries to even remember how to log in. It must be fate because I was able to get in and post. Go me! Once again it is the most wonderful time of the year, Jury Questionnaire season. Yipee!! On Monday, 15,000 questionnaires were mailed to the fine citizens of our county and there was great rejoicing of the masses. If you believe that folks rejoiced getting my letter in their mailbox, then I have a bridge I want to sell you  It's rare as hen's teeth for someone to say, "Gosh, I have always wanted to serve on jury duty. This is my year! Thank you. Can I send you chocolate? Flowers?"  Maybe the chocolates and flowers are overkill. But back to the point of my post, questionnaires and the joy the bring to all. This week I'm splitting my time between jury duty duties and keeping the mail room running. Ms. L has the Wednesday--Friday off and I'm her trusty back up. This means between calls from joyful jurors and the … [Read more...]

~Bernie

I Went to Court and Lived to Tell the Tale

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I had to go observe court today and lived to tell the tale.  After being told what not to wear, I decided to make up my own "going to court outfit." It was classy with a capital K. Let's just say I was pretty proud of myself. I was thinking I was so clever and giddy, I sent the text below to Torture Queen, aka: TQ this morning before work: Last night I told my Mom what I planned on wearing to work to impress TQ. I don't think she believed me. Keep in mind I get to work at 7 am long before the public is even in the building. I was digging out my rattiest pair of denim carpi pants, I had a funny t-shirt my Mom sent me about sarcasm and glitter but couldn't do it as it would have messed up my hair taking it off. I found an old pair of crocs and a funny 'Maxine" t-shirt. It's great when you realize that the t-shirt you want to wear won't work and your husband encourages you by digging around for something just as tacky for you to wear. I love that man. Last night he suggested big hooker … [Read more...]

~Bernie

How Are People Finding Me – Part 3

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Welcome to Part 3 of  "How Are People Finding Me"  Every once in a while I dig around in my stats to find out what search terms people are using to find me. The results intrigue me and sometimes scare me a bit as well.  Sometimes I can figure out what post would have popped up on their search, other times I really have no clue how they landed in my little corner of the internet. Let's get started shall we? My first result is the post popular search term for the past week.  "What to do with my empty cigarette packs" Most people just throw them away. However, I'm going to guess that this was the post they found: Purse Porn, a post showing my purse made of cigarette wrappers. That was easy! I hope they are all this easy to figure out. Let's move on to the past 3o days, shall we? This one made me wonder who on earth is actual looking for this and knows the proper term for it. Not 1 but 3 people used this term: "testrone radium energizer"  (spelling was the search term, not mine) I'm … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Bedtime is an Olympic Sport

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For most people,  going to bed is a simple process. Its a matter of crawling into bed and covering up and going to sleep.  At our house, its not quite that easy. You might we wondering, why? Do we live near train tracks or people are blaring their car stereos all night?  No, it's not that. We have pets. Its as simple as that. For those of you who are pet owners, I think you can relate to this. A typical bedtime starts with shutting off the lights and telling the dogs its bedtime. By the time we get to bed Luke and Abby, the cats, are curled up on my side of the bed. Then Gwynnie, our old toothless cat, hops on the foot of the bed and starts screaming about them being in her spot. We aren't talking cute little mews, we are talking screams that sound like she is being strangled. Who needs music to sleep too? Next its time to move the cats. I suggest that Mr. Bernie  move his cats so Gwynnie and I can crawl into bed. He just chuckles and tells Gwynnie, "Shut up you toothless … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Mr. Bernie The Matchmaker

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One of my new friend's is an adorable second grade teacher named Stacee. She is witty and funny and cute as a bugs ear. She is also single. Mr. Bernie thinks he needs to fix that. He will go on and on about all her great points and then say, "We need to find her a guy to go out with." I assumed that was talk until he tried to set Stacee up with a married man! Stacee was going to stop by the shop to pick up some stuff for Rez Dog Rescue a couple of weeks ago. She fosters puppies and I had a bunch of newspaper to give her.  Anyway, when I mentioned to Mr. Bernie that she was going to stop by he brought up again how she needs to date someone. A few minutes later a very attractive man came in to order a stamp. Mr. Bernie got to talking with the guy about his stamp and then a light-bulb must have gone off. To my shock he said, "I have this friend. She is funny, cute, and single. Would you be interested in meeting her?"  I about dropped my damned teeth I was so shocked! The guy turned … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Amputees, Bat Dogs and Biff

The best part of our long night. Flowers from Sandy of Billings Animal Rescue Kare. (Photo by Sheri Lee)

It's been a while since I have posted our adventures on the reservation.  Yesterday was a day to "write home about."  Our plan was simple, have a dog put to sleep, bury her and not get caught, pick up 12 dogs/puppies that had been spayed and neutered that day. Just a simple routine run. Many of our friend's know that nothing is simple and routine when Sheri and I get together.  WARNING: This is a longer than normal post. Sheri and I had to run a dog to the vet to be put down. She had not recovered from a long illness. She was wasting away and couldn't stand. It hurt our hearts to see how far downhill she had gone. Sheri carried her into the vet and laid her on the table and the she was given a shot that would allow her to go to sleep and stop any pain she may have been in. This made the 21st dog that had to be put down and I know it hit Sheri hard. After she passed, Sheri wrapped her up in a blanket and brought her to her vehicle. Then we drove to a peaceful spot where Sheri had … [Read more...]

~Bernie