I want a pair of wings.  Not wings in a maxi pad, but wings to wear.  I blame this desire on the food network. Mr. Bernie and I were watching a "Chopped" marathon and its one commercial that gave me the desire for wings.  The commercial is for Cutee oranges and a little girl is eating an orange while wearing wings.  Those wings that little girls wear with the netting wrapped around wire.  Every time that would come on, I would tell Mr. Bernie, "I want a pair of fairy wings!" The first time I said it he glanced at me like I said something weird. By the fourth time it came on he said it before I could, "Yes, Bernadette you want wings." Later that night I was talking to my friend, Michele, and told her I wanted fairy wings.  All I heard was the sound of crickets. Then she replied, "Why do you want fairy wings?" I told her, "So when my unicorn farts glitter I can rub it all over me!" Why did I want wings indeed? I told her that they would be cool What 42-year-old fat chubby woman, … [Read more...]