Big Girl Math

A bad picture of my teacher, Stacee and my math book.

It is no secret that math is not my strong suit. Look here and here if you are not aware of this fact. People tell me that I have other talents and intelligence in other areas.  The most amusing thing about my math challenge is the fact that Mr. Bernie would score in the upper 99th percentile in math. He sometimes talks about things like Hessian Matrices; Kuhn-Tucker Necessary and Sufficient Conditions; and Analysis of Variance - Whatever those are. It does mean that he comes in handy when its time to figure out a tip when we go out to eat or the amount off during a sale. Score!! My friend Stacee is a second grade teacher. One night she called me and asked what my two favorite colors were. I thought it was an odd question but replied, "pink and green." She thanked me and then hung up. I thought that was a weird and random question but knew that I would figure out the reason for the question some day. That weekend we were at Tractor Supply pimping puppies. Stacee got all excited … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Happy Birthday, Mr. Bernie!!

hubby

Today is Mr. Bernie's birthday! Everyday I'm thankful to have him in my life. I know that sounds sappy and cheesy, but there you go.  He has the patience of a Saint!  Which is a good thing when you have to live with me. He is good about making sure we are stocked up on chocolate at certain times of the month.  He is a wonderful cook. We would seriously starve if we depended on my cooking! He is ok with having foster Momma's and puppies at the house.  When we get a new Momma he gives her a "spa day" and brushes her out. He is so good with our own animals. They all love him.  Not many men would be comfortable carrying their 45 pound puppy to the car because he can't walk.  He is currently upgrading my computer so it goes faster and I can store more images! He did that out of the blue and without being asked.  That is the kind of guy he is. Since today is his birthday, that means last night I should have been in tears. My infamous angel food cake disasters are known far and wide. Last … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Math and Cupcakes Are NOT a Good Combination

Photo courtesy of Harper and Madison Bakery

My regular readers know that math is not my strong suit.  My old posts, 3 Cups of Snarkyiness and Too Cubed illustrate how bad my grasp of numbers is. I felt it important to get this out of the way in order for you to understand how I could be so easily fooled. My darling husband sometimes delights in my arithmetically challenged condition. I'm a Facebook fan of a local bakery called, Harper and Madison.   I blame this all on my friend, Tana. She is always "checking in" at Harper and Madison. If Tana likes them, then they must be good. The bad things about being their fan are the pictures they post. I've been close to licking my computer screen several times because of some gorgeous looking cupcakes they have posted. Sometimes I salivate like Pavlov's dog at the sight their creations. I had never been to Harper and Madison and really wanted to go. A couple weeks ago they posted a picture of a cupcake with a huge hunk of CHOCOLATE covered candied bacon sticking out of the top. Did … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Another Lesson In Math and Love

312 Mississippi

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know I suck at math. Mr. Bernie has to help me figure out discounts. My friend, Jenny, laughs at me. My other family and friend's just sigh. Here are a couple posts to get you up to speed on how awful my math is. To Infinity and Beyond and Too Cubed. I'm starting to learn that when you marry and Engineer  who is a math geek, numbers can equal love. Who knew? Me, I'm more about jewelry and chocolate, but we work with what we have.  I'm bringing this up because of yesterday's math=love lesson. Mr. Bernie can be cute when he wants to be. He will ask me if I know how much he loves me. I will say no, how much. Then he will reply, ___ Mississippi. I have been paying attention to what number he ends up on. Just because it amuses me to see if he picks up where he left off. He started this with 1 Mississippi after the infinity and beyond fiasco. Now we are up to the 300's. We were driving home last night and he said, "Bernadette to you … [Read more...]

~Bernie

3 Cups of Snarkyiness

measuring_cup

I have a problem with math and know this. Its not as if I think I'm good at math. I don't hide my lack of math skills. When Mr. Bernie and I go shopping I need him to figure out the discount. "Mr. Bernie, do math for me." He sighs and walks me through the math problem. All I want to know is how much something is at 25% off. I don't want to have math class. Just tell me so I know if I'm buying something or not. I didn't realize how bad Mr. Bernie thought I was at math. He knows I'm not the brightest crayon in the box about numbers. Yet, on Wednesday night I realized just how slow he thought I was. I was getting my wild rice ready for sitting in the oven over night. (It really makes every little piece of rice pop) I didn't need as much rice as I normally do. So I had Mr. Bernie help me figure out how much water I would need for 2/3 cup of rice instead of my usual 1 cup. He gave me a measurement amount, I thanked him and started to wash my rice. When the kettle started to boil with … [Read more...]

~Bernie

Too Cubed

I'm married to a genius. Mr. Bernie has a Master's in Engineering, Industrial Management Engineering. This type of engineer shows companies how to work harder and smarter. A good example; "If you moved Sally's chair 3/4" to the right, she would be able to hit those keys quicker and be more productive."  Things like that. Sounds very boring to me. Math is fun for Mr. Bernie. He enjoys a good Sudoku puzzle. I think that game is so pointless. One day he thought I should learn how to do a Sudoku, he sat me down and explained how it worked.The more he explained, the more excited he got about it. My eyes started to glaze over and I started to make a grocery list in my head. He startled me out of my list by telling me to figure out where the next number went. Not a clue in hell. I guessed, and guessed wrong. That was the end of that game. This week, when we went to bed, Mr. Bernie and I got to talking about math. If that isn't romantic pillow talk, I don't know what is. He likes to quiz me … [Read more...]

~Bernie